Leaving Home

As a baby nurse, I was incredibly fortunate to grow my career in a remarkable facility. From my new grad days on a Medical Teaching Unit to ICU- I have been blessed with never ending support and guidance. When I started in ICU, I felt like I had found my home. I had found the patient population I wanted to care for, the best teammates I could have ever imagined and a place to cultivate and grow my knowledge. But, with the transition into ICU, came responsibility. Gone were the days where I could just show up to work and do my job, I had entered a new playground and now had to play with the big kids. I needed to be better, quicker and smarter all at once. Ever heard about the learning curve a nurse experiences when they shift from a nursing unit to ICU? Yeah, that's not a learning curve, that's a GIANT river crossing. A river that you somehow manage to cross while oscillating between drowning and gasping for air. And just when you think you're not going to make it, your charge nurses and educators plunge their hands into the water through all of the knowledge and pull you to shore. And that my friends, is your right of passage. Welcome to your first year in the ICU.

When I decided to start travel nursing, I was terrified. I knew I had to make a change in order to better my mental health and lifestyle, but putting my plan into action was a lot harder than I expected. Wanting change is one thing, but making the change is where a lot of us fall short. The worst part about putting my plan in gear was that I was comfortable in my ICU. I had nested there. It was home, and giving that up was devastating. Despite the stress and anxiety I felt regarding the hustle of North America, I liked who I worked with and the facility I worked in. I liked grill cheese night, being part of team building events and my team's obsessive need to scrub and fluff every patient before shift change. Did you know you can blow dry a patient's hair with a bear hugger? Cause I didn't. Learnt that one from Mama. I worked with an amazing team who prides themselves on teamwork and high standards of care. I can 100% say with confidence that my team always had my back and I could count on them for support in any type of situation. How many of us can say that about where we work? Can you approach a Charge Nurse and voice your concerns while bearing your soul without feeling like you'll be judged? Cause I could. I was scared, and knowing what I know now, I had every right to be.

I'll never forget a conversation I had with one of my Charge Nurses before I left. I was in the supply room one night and it was one of my last shifts. I was gathering supplies and was on the brink of a breakdown as I couldn't find what I was looking for, lost somewhere between the CVP and Arterial line tubing. My Charge Nurse walked in and could see I was upset. We started talking and I ended up telling him I felt like I was making a mistake. How I wasn't ready to leave. How even though I wanted change, I didn't feel like I could do it. How it was so hard and I didn't know how to navigate through this part of the journey. I was ready to give up. Papa should probably consider becoming a life coach, cause that night he helped me through one of the biggest hurdles I've ever dealt with in just a few minutes. Through the course of our conversation, he listened, provided feedback and then was straight up just Papa (for those of you who know, you know). He told me he believed in me, that he was proud of me, and that I could do it. That even though I'm tired- it'll be worth it and to not lose sight of the goal. That night, I needed to hear that. I needed an extra push so I could leave my home and know it was going to be okay. I needed to know that I was capable of leaving. As humans, we love comfort and routine. I love a good routine. I thrive on it. But what I never realized, is that it's twice as hard to make a drastic change and uproot your lifestyle once you're comfortable in your routine. Did you know that changing your job is one of the most stressful things we as an adult can experience? I definitely didn't, but again, if I only knew then what I know now.

I love travel nursing. It's become a part of me and shaped me into the person I am today. I can't begin to imagine what my life would be like without it now. I know this post has been on more of the serious side- but in my opinion, there's so much more to travel nursing than people realize and it's important to talk about it. It's SO much more than the instagram posts you see and all the hype you hear. It takes determination, self confidence and to put it simply- nerves. Travel nursing is a lot like a set of Christmas lights. Yes, Christmas lights are beautiful, sparkly and symbolize something bigger... but behind those lights is a lot of hard work and burnt out bulbs. What you don't see when you drive by a house with Christmas lights is the time it took to buy those bulbs, fit them to the house and put them up. The curse words that were uttered or the bulbs that were broken are never spoken about. The self electrocutions and ladder accidents- they're never spoken about. Those lights wouldn't be there had it not been for all the effort and issues. In order to get the house with the beautiful lights, you gotta break a few bulbs and fall off a few ladders. And let me tell ya, I fell off the ladder and electrocuted myself more than a few times to get to where I am today. But at the end of the day, it was worth it. Cause when those lights are on and illuminated, there's nothing in the world like it.

So I'll ask you. Are you ready to leave your comfort zone? Are you willing to give up your home and start anew? Cause if you are, stay tuned.

Thanks for reading,

XOXO Kels